You are probably familiar with the cosmically axiomatic Murphy's law which dictates: "If anything can go wrong, it will." There are, however, some universal laws that, while not as well known, are equally binding on life as we know it. Some of these laws are listed below for your viewing pleasure:
Johnny's law
"If something can fall in the toilet, it will."
Britney's law
"Britney-ness is next to skankiness."
Flabby's law
"You will stop going to the gym soon."
Levi's law
"When your pants begin to feel a little tight around the mid-section, it's not because your pants have shrunk. It's because you have expanded."
Wrigley's law
"If there's gum on the sidewalk, you will step in it."
Poochie's law
"If there's dog crap anywhere, you will step in it."
Crusty's law
"Gas station bathrooms are nasty beyond all description."
Krusteaz law
"Chatalita will have just-add-water pancakes for dinner tonight."
David's law
"No matter how you load the dishwasher, it's the wrong way."
Trunky's law
"Twenty-three month-old missionaries are worthless."
Crispy's law
"Musical cereals become soggy in fewer than ten seconds."
Porky's law
"It's impossible to determine the composition of a hot dog."
Turkey's law
"You will gain at least twenty pounds on Thanksgiving."
Macey's law
"Some things should never be made into giant balloons and marched in a parade."
Curly's law
"Perms stink to high heaven."
Barbie's law
"Impossibly proportioned plastic women make great toys!"
Carrie's law
"Stephen King has serious issues."
Kenny's law
"Sleeves are for pansies!"
Jerry's law
"Girlfriends should not last for more than one episode."
Curry's law
"What's spicy on the way in is spicy on the way out."
Stefani's law
"The word 'bananas' is spelled B-A-N-A-N-A-S."
Newton's law
"Figs are not for human consumption."
Martha's law
"Nothing is so beautiful that it couldn't benefit from the addition of a doily."
Ramen's law
"It doesn't matter how many times you look in the pantry, nothing is going to magically appear."
Buttz' law
"Certain last names are just asking to be make fun of."
What laws govern your existence?
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8 comments:
The comedian's law:
"That's what she said" is always an appropriate, and humorous, response.
You want a second opinion on that?
Uh... That's what she said.
Brad's Law:
"Just when you thought insanity was making sense, they go and change the rules on you."
Brad's my new favorite person.
*sigh* I should have seen that coming.
Sequence's Law: Some people will always be winners, and well, some people will not.
Ouch. Don't worry. It's only a matter of time before I reclaim my bragging rights.
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