Saved by the Bell

A personal narrative in iambic quadrameter

I went to high school as a lad,
Which is to say, I'm rather glad
That I became a high school grad
For high school makes your life quite sad.

It is a place that's very stale,
Where pleasure lives in fairy tales,
And every teacher's holy grail
Is to ensure their students fail.

It is a place where children go
To learn of misery and woe,
And read a poem by E. A. Poe
About a creepy talking crow.

It is a place where boredom thrives
And makes your skin break out in hives.
It makes you wonder, between sighs,
How anyone in school survives.

One day I sat there bored as hell,
Waiting for salvation's bell,
When suddenly my eyes beheld
A thing that held my gaze a spell...

Crawling through a girl's red hair-
She was completely unaware.
To pick it out, I did not dare;
I was content to leave it there.

It was a cockroach, what a sight!
A clever little parasite-
It wandered left, and wandered right.
I wondered if she'd be all right.

The roach seemed happy as could be.
It was a big one, yessiree.
I did not stop the roach; you see,
I don't believe in chivalry.

The roach crawled down onto her neck.
I muttered softly, "Dang! Oh heck!"
It crawled onto her shoulder next
And then continued on its trek...

Down her back and to her thigh-
It raised its two antennae high,
As if to say, in roach-speak, "Hi."
I thought it rude not to reply.

Oh golly gosh and mercy me!
The roach was now upon her knee!
It very soon would have to flee,
Pending its discovery...

The girl let out a curtling scream
That woke the students from their dreams.
She scremed so loud at what she'd seen;
You'd think she had a ruptured spleen.

She spied the creature; squashed it dead.
A cockroach corpse without a head-
Oh wait- it's hanging by a thread.
"Goodbye, my friend, the roach," I said.

"Goodbye?" The redhead turned her head.
"You saw that roach on me?!" She said.
And as the readhead turned bright red,
I heard the bell and promptly fled.