People are funny. Sometimes I like to laugh at them. Especially when they mess up. And especially if it really embarrasses them. Yeah, I like that. Among the mistakes that people make that are all kinds of funny are butchering other people's languages. Take for instance some of the warnings that came with my cheap imitation dance pads for DDR that I ordered from China. I have reproduced them here for your viewing pleasure.Hot Dance Instruction
!Warning
1. Forbidden to use this product if your feet are seriously injured. Stop immediately if there is abnormal phenomenon in your foot, waist and back when using it.
2. There is maybe have some white powder on the surface of the product, please wipe off by a piece of soft, clean cloth.
3. Make sure to pave the cushion.
4. Don not put it near the furniture and other odds and ends.
5. Young children must be guided to use it or need to parents and teaches to accompany, in case to be tumbled by it.
6. High technology product, do not apart, separate or fix it anyway.
7. Do not keep it in the quite high or low temperature environment, especially far away from fireplace.
8. Do not wear sharp shoes when using it, that may cause damage to the product.
9. When using this product, pay attention to keep your feet safety.
10. Strong jump or shake may cause influence to the video and audio output.
11. Please do not jump strongly, that may bring troubles to the other person.
WHAT???!!! You mean to say I can't DDR in my stiletto heels or golf cleats?! I want a refund!!! All I can say is thank goodness that I don't have any young children around to be tumbled by all this hot dance instruction. Especially if the aforementioned tumbling children are also stiletto and/or golf cleat-wearing children. Could you imagine the abnormal phenomenon that those kids could cause in my foot, waist and back? Phew! Disaster averted. Unless of course I manage to apart the high technology product, or put it near any odds and ends. Darn those odds. And darn those ends. They're always spoiling my fun. Does a microwave count as a "quite high temperature environment?" I wouldn't want to risk any more unnecessary tumbling and I want to pay attention to my feet safety. So, you're saying that all I have to do to is jump strongly to bring troubles to the other person? Whoda thunk that strong jumping was all it took? I'm thinking that this could come in handy. Let's say that your roommate refuses to cook dinner for you. "Roommate, would you come here please? I'm going to jump strongly. Do you feel the troubles that it brings? Good. There's plenty more where that came from. Now get in the kitchen before I pave your cushion!"
To find a treasure trove of hilarious mistranslations, visit this site.
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10 comments:
Adam, you're my hero.
Having visited a few factories over there, I'm not surprised by that kind of stuff anymore. You should try translating one of their emails about something you designed.
Have you been to Engrish.com? It's chock full of that kind of madness.
This makes me worry about how I sound to native Spanish speakers when I think I am speaking their language.
I am just glad I don't have to try to write DDR instructions in Chinese. (Which would translate something like this - Don't die or hurt self on mat. Consider self warned.)
Someone at work sent me a link to http://www.englishfailblog.com ... I've wasted hours of my life there. Unfortunately, bad English isn't limited to non-native speakers... ;)
I had a similar set of instructions with my ddr dance pads. I know they had a warning about sharp shoes, too. Thanks for the post, it made me laugh.
~Shawn
Adam, I just laughed out loud...at work, eating my lunch in my office...hope people aren't standing outside my door. :)
Also, I'm planning on learning Mandarin soon...I wonder how I'm going to sound to them... :)
Mandarin? Wow.
Thanks for the laughs! I really need to read more often -- especially instructions.
I don't think you should have labeled this "lost" in translation. Because there was definitely more found than lost. I forwarded this to two of my roommates. One was faithful and laughed hysterically. One was disloyal and didn't even follow the link. Either way, good work, eagle eyes!
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