On Saturday my friend and I took a tour of the Anheuser-Busch brewery. It's pretty interesting. You get to see all the ins and outs of beer-making, and afterwards they take you to the hospitality room where you get to try some free samples if you so desire. I learned a lot. Here are the most important things I learned:1. Budweiser beer is brewed from only the highest quality ingredients.
2. The main ingredient in Budweiser beer is barley. It gives the beer its amber-coloured color.
3. Rice is another important ingredient in Budweiser beer. It gives the beer a light flavor and texture. It is the most expensive ingredient in beer.
4. They also add a special grain called Hops to Budweiser beer. This grain is only used in beer-making and gives the beer its classic bitter taste.
5. Budweiser beer is 92% water. This gives the beer its liquidiness.
6. Yeast is added to the beer and is key to the fermentation process. In this highly scientific process, the yeast feed on the sugars in the grains to produce carbon dioxide and alcohol. This just gives you a buzz.
7. The fermentation takes place in giant tank-like tanks called "lager tanks." One lager tank holds enough beer that if you were to drink one case of beer a day, it would take you 137 years to drink all the beer in one tank--unless of course you are Rick Moranis in Strange Brew, in which case it would take only a few minutes, a highly expandable bladder, and a Canadian accent.
8. On the bottom of each lager tank, there is a one and a half foot layer of beechwood chips. This enhances fermentation because it increases the surface area of the tank. It also increases the surface area of your puke when you wake up the next morning.
9. Even though "full-bodied" is an adjective commonly associated with sumo wrestlers and Roseanne Barr, it is also used to describe Budweiser beer.
10. The Anheuser-Busch mascots include Clydesdales weighing upwards of 2000 pounds each (that's more than several sumo wrestlers and Roseanne Barr combined!), a few Dalmatians, and a beer-drinking rat named "Bevo the beer-drinking rat."
11. The prohibition was one of the darkest times of our nation's history.
12. You must be at least 21 years of age to drink yeast excrement. I wonder how old you have to be to drink Clydesdale excrement?
13. All these things give Budweiser beer its bold, subtle, light, full-bodied, rich, sweet, snappy, bitter, refreshing taste.
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11 comments:
It's not the best place to pick up number 3, though.
Bravo, meistro... Bravo.
I personally believe that the permissible age for excrement consumption should be proportional to the size of the organism doing the excreting. A yeast is microns across, and a Clydesdale can get over six feet tall. And we're not even considering mass here... So, if it is 21 for yeast excrement, you can do the math for the Clydesdale.
Everyone knows of the Clydesdale, and I vaguely remember seeing a Dalmatian but I have never heard of this “Bevo the beer-drinking rat”. Is this fact or did you just need three animals to avoid posting a picture of a large beer mug on a blog that your mother could read?
m&m
Bevo is a bona-fide mascot, but I don't think he has been the star of any advertising campaigns since the prohibition.
liza: how many microns big do you figure you are?
I'm going to take that as simply a short joke (and ignore any other possible connotations given the context...)
liza: Yes it was a short joke.
And yes, I was suggesting that given how many microns tall you are I could figure out how old one would have to be to drink liza excrement. Sorry, but you set yourself up for that one.
mmmm . . . beer is good
and I love the crispness - you can thank the rice for that
a really righteous mormon would never attend a beer factory tour. I believe we are told to avoid the appearance of evil.
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